The Most Baffling Baby Names from Around The Internet

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 12, 2023 5:00 PM EST

What's in a name? It contains far more than just our government-recognized identity. Have you ever met a Jeff that really feels like George? Or a Katherine that could never be a Katy but is definitely a Kat? Names have powerful association and are not to be doled out recklessly. I'm all for naming your kid whatever you want to name them. I'm no "weird" name hater. I happen to think Apple is a beautiful name for a girl. But sometimes the wrong name can set up your child for failure. 

Children can be cruel. They can and will single out the thing that makes you different and bully you for it. It's one of those hard developmental truths. But as a parent, you can spare your kid some of that by giving them a name that doesn't immediately invite teasing. Recently, Redditors came together to share some of the worst kid names they've heard, and boy are they a doozy. 

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  • 01
    r/AskReddit u/Will33iam 23h What's the worst name a kid can have? ●
    via u/Will33iam
  • 02
    _JPH_ • 22h I worked in admissions as a tour guide in college. When we didn't have tours during our shift we stuffed envelopes. I'll always remember Sylver Blades and Mystic Powers receiving mailings.
    via u/_JPH_
  • 03
    dabbad525 • 23h Kashmonay. Woman with this first name was arrested for stealing $170,000 worth of merchandise from Ulta. Reply 4 1.3k ↓ Will33iam OP • 23h ... She certainly lived up to her name
    via u/dabbad525 & u/Will33iam
  • 04
    eli_scrubs 22h Pubert
    via u/eli_scrubs
  • 05
    ReinaPaz 23h ● My coworker named her baby "Strawberry Rain", which would be a great name if she had given birth to a bottle of shampoo.
    via u/ReinaPaz
  • 06
    Canterbury Terrier 20h ● Knew a girl in high school. Last name Rechsig. Her first name was Anna. The first time they realized it was problematic was when she was lost in an airport and their parents couldn't get the desk to page her. Edit: Sorry. Anorexic. People keep responding, I go in to see the comment, and its gone. So, people message me, get it, then delete. I didn't mean to cause confusion.
    via u/CanterburyTerrier
  • 07
    The ManBehind 169 23h Blanket ●
    via u/TheManBehind
  • 08
    blitzer1069. 23h I knew a guy who always wanted be called AJ in school. His legal name was Adolf.
    via u/blitzer1069
  • 09
    flipping_birds. 22h I talked to a guy named Adolf once and he explained that he was born before the other Adolf had become well known. I can't imagine anyone born after say 1940 thinking that was a good idea.
    via u/flipping_birds
  • 10
    RazzmatazzFluid4198 • 22h I met a kid named Qua'Duffius when I was in middle school. He said it was pronounced Kwa-doof-ee-us. Worst one I've seen in person.
    via u/RazzmatazzFluid4198
  • 11
    HenryFromYorkshire • 22h Came across someone in a park once (England, nowhere weird) who was yelling 'Excalibur!'. Thought it was a dog, nope, it was a lad.
    via u/HenryFromYorkshire
  • 12
    Cuish 23h ● Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo
    via u/Cuish
  • 13
    exoticconstable • 22h Met a girl named Jennifert in college...Jennifer with a T. Why? Because her parents wanted her to be different.
    via u/exoticconstable
  • 14
    vmikey • 21h One of the US Olympic swimming greats is named Misty Hyman. I suppose Glistening Vulva was already taken.
    via u/vmikey
  • 15
    metallumberjack • 23h Being a boy named sue
    via u/metallumberjack
  • 16
    trippydragonfly • 21h I swear if I see one more kid named Khaleesi
    via u/trippydragonfly
  • 17
    Von2014 21h ● Derf Not joking. Was working security in MN and a trucker came in to sign in. As he's writing his name, I glanced at his name. 'Derf'. I felt bad for his childhood.
    via u/Von2014
  • 18
    nitestar95 23h X Æ A-12 Musk is a cruel 1. There are other really terrible names, but that has to be the most idiotic.
    via u/nitestar95
  • 19
    igotshadowbaned - 21h I think Nick Cannon has him beat. Named his kid "Legendary Love". Full name being "Legendary Love Cannon". The kids name is just a euphemism
    via u/igotshadowbaned
  • 20
    Neon_Rust. 22h We just hired a guy whose first, middle, and last name is the same, but spelled 3 different ways lol I don't want to actually say his name on the off chance by some miracle he sees this or it gets back to him, but I think it's terrible. Like if your parents named you Shaun Sean Shawn lol
    via u/Neon_Rust

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baby names surname funny reddit askreddit kids these days names Reddit discourse funny nickname
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